Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
