The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Found your dick twin last night
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
