i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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