we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
