Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
