i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
