Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
