I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
