Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
