some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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