I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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