I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
