I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
