She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
