Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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