Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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