Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
