He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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