He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
