But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
