Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
