Welp...herpes.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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