does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
