There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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