Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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