Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
