Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
