i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
