there's paper in my vomit.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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