It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
