Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
