6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
