Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
