I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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