i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
