At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
