She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
