I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
