cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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