erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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