handjob tips. give me some.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
