he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
