So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
