YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
