I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
