thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
