She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize
