I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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