Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
