I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
