Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
